"Til Death Do They Part (Sort of)

I don’t know the official divorce rate in Nicaragua but I can guess that it is extremely low. This is for one reason only: nobody gets married in Nicaragua. Usually people just juntar (trans. “shack up”) for a few years, have some kids, and then separate when someone else comes along. When people do get married, it is usually a civil procedure performed by a lawyer so that they can still get a divorce when someone else comes along. Very, very rarely a couple will get married in a church and in this Catholic country, this means ‘til death do they part. Of course, they still cheat when someone else comes along. So it is not surprising that throughout my two years living in Nicaragua, I have only been invited to one wedding and it was just a few weeks ago.

Given the rarity of such an event, there was no way I was going to miss it. Moreover, the bride and groom are close friends of mine: Ruth and Martin. They have been “shacking up” for 21 years and have two children together but for some reason decided that this December 26th they would finally be married. The curious part is that after such a long time, you would think they would be fairly certain that they will spend the rest of their lives together. But they still opted for the civil marriage. You know, just in case someone else comes along.

The wedding bore certain similarities and certain differences to the few weddings I have attended in the U.S. There were invitations, but they were handed out a week before the event. There was a time stated on the invitation, but of course the ceremony started two hours later. People came dressed in their best and in Nicaragua that can mean ironed jeans. It had rained all that day but no one was worried about the mud (the party took place outside) and everyone was in a festive mood. I’m sure a lot of preparation went into the event but no one was stressed, just out to have a great time.

There was dinner served but it didn’t signal the beginning of the festivities but rather the end for about a quarter of the guests who left immediately afterwards. And in true Nicaragua fashion that still manages to shock me after all this time and all these birthday parties and graduations, many people asked for plates of food to take home with them. They are served their rightful plate and then ask whoever served them for, say, two more plates for their kids at home who weren’t even necessarily invited! These same people usually ask for some of the balloon decorations to take home as well, which helps with cleanup but still strikes me as slightly out of line.

There was music but definitely not a band or even a DJ really. Ruth’s son just put on mix CDs and let them play. Early in the night, he played a great American 80’s mix. When Guns n’ Roses “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” started to play, my friend Gilberto leaned over to me and commented, “Nirvana es salvaje!” (trans. “Nirvana is awesome!) “Totally,” I responded.

There wasn’t a bar, but there was plenty of liquor. Bottles of rum were placed and replaced on every table where guests sat. This was my undoing. There was dancing and I definitely partook. In fact, yesterday Ruth told me she is glad I am leaving with a smile. When I asked her why in a mockingly horrified tone, she told me, “Because you stole the groom at my wedding.” While I find this to be a gross exaggeration, I did spend quite a long time teaching Martin to dance “gringo style” complete with spins and dips. We would alternately yell “Gringo style!” or “Nica style” and dance accordingly. He told me that “gringo style” is a lot more fun. When it comes to dancing, I have to agree. When it comes to weddings, “Nica style” definitely gives “Gringo style” a run for its money.