Vete Papa Frita

Doña Ruth is a true character. She has a successful restaurant right near the dock of my community and what can only be described as a “devil may care” attitude. She likes to drink and doesn’t try to hide it. Her husband is one of my favorite men in Sábalos, a handyman who always helps me out and never charges me a dime. Ruth likes to hang out with the foreign girls (that would be Sanne and me) and always invites us to eat and drink with her.

On Saturday night, we took her up on her offer and sat with her and her husband outside her restaurant, drinking and shooting the breeze. A few beers in, my wooden penis came out. I had it in my bag because I was going to give a condom presentation along with an educational session in the evangelical church that night but in typical Nicaraguan fashion, the charla got canceled. Normally, the presentation includes a power point slide show with pictures of people infected with the STI’s that the doctor describes. In order to present the slide show, the projector is needed and it was locked in a closet in the mayor’s office and the only man with the key could not be found in all of Sábalos (really. we searched for him). The doctor decided it was best that we postpone the charla, so I left, wooden demonstration penis in my bag, and a longing in my heart to spread the condom gospel to somebody, anybody.

Outside Ruth’s restaurant, I got my chance. It was a small audience of three (Sanne, Ruth, and her husband, Martin) but it can be argued that the smaller the audience, the bigger the impact. I also believe the beer improved my delivery and luckily, Sanne had her camera to document the momentous event. Of course, after booze-fueled talk of condoms, the conversation can only devolve so we were left teaching each other vulgar words in different languages. Apparently, in Danish, the phrase, “Vete papa frita, esta es una fiesta cerrada,” translation: “Go away french fry, this is a closed party,” is quite strong but obviously does not hold the same weight in either Spanish or English. We love it nonetheless and as drunken men sauntered up to Ruth’s still lit restaurant in hopes of having a beer, she shooed them all away with a simple, “Vete papa frita, esta es una fiesta cerrada.” They were all a bit puzzled at the phrase but got the gist and stumbled off to the sounds of our laughter.